Navigating Interview Season as a Couple, Part 2
By Clarissa E. Jordan, MD
Having gone through the process two years ago, I’m passionate about helping other couples in the match & wanted to share what I learned, in the hopes that it might be useful. First, a couple of disclaimers: these are my personal opinions and experiences regarding the couples match and may not be representative of all couples. The views expressed herein are my own and do not reflect the views of my employer. Additionally, I use heteronormative language in my examples because I’m talking about my own experiences, but wholeheartedly support all couples in the match regardless of sexual orientation & gender identity.
In my previous post on this topic, I discussed the process of navigating the early parts of interview season as a couple, including how to accept interview invitations and advocate for yourself and your partner. In this post, we’ll go more in-depth on how to navigate the next part of the interview season — I hope that sharing my experiences will be useful to you as you and your partner navigate this process!
Declining interviews
Keeping in mind you and your partner’s location threshold, i.e. how far away can you tolerate living away from each other, you may encounter a situation in which you receive an interview to a program, and your partner does not (or vice versa). If your partner does not have an interview within your location threshold and will not be receiving one (e.g. there are no other programs still in play within the threshold), it’s important that you cancel your interview as soon as possible, in the spirit of fairness to other applicants (especially in this virtual interview cycle!).
For example, you could say something like: Thank you so much for the invitation to interview at *** Program. Unfortunately, my husband (who I am couples matching with) has not received an interview from ***. In the interest of giving another qualified applicant a chance to take my interview spot, it is with great regret that I must withdraw from the interview process…
Deciding whether or not to cancel an interview as the date approaches and your partner hasn’t received any news is one of the more nerve-wracking parts of the couples match, and unfortunately, there’s no secret formula for this situation. Obviously, you don’t want to take an interview spot away from someone else if you might not be interested in going to a program without your partner. Be sure to send a couples match letter of interest (see below), have lots of honest conversations with your partner, and use your best judgment here. If you decide to cancel, do so at least a week or two ahead of the interview date.
Couples Match Letter of Interest
I recommend advocating for your partner from the beginning (i.e. when you receive an interview invitation), by mentioning your couples match status when scheduling an interview. If some time has passed since one partner has accepted the interview, and the other partner hasn’t heard from the program (or vice versa), the partner that hasn’t gotten an invitation should write a letter of interest. As you would with a standard letter of interest, clearly and concisely explain your own interest in the program, but also mention that your partner has an interview scheduled with their program. Again, it’s no guarantee that the programs will coordinate with each other, but this might be enough for the program to take another look at your application. Either way, it doesn’t hurt to try!
On a final note, I’ve heard a few different opinions on when you should send this letter of interest (e.g. as soon as one partner gets an invitation vs waiting for a week or two). My husband and I personally chose to wait a week or two before sending out these letters, to give the programs a chance to respond. That worked for us, but use your best judgment!
As always, best of luck to you both in the match!
