Navigating Couples Match Interviews
Written by Clarissa E. Jordan, MD
Having gone through the process two years ago, I’m really passionate about helping other couples in the match & wanted to share what I learned, in the hopes that it might be useful. First, a couple of disclaimers: these are my personal opinions and experiences regarding the couples match and may not be representative of all couples. The views expressed herein are my own and do not reflect the views of my employer. Additionally, I use heteronormative language in my examples because I’m talking about my own experiences, but wholeheartedly support all couples in the match regardless of sexual orientation & gender identity.
Congrats on committing to residency and to your other half! The couples match is a stressful process, but I’m very grateful to have had the option to match with my husband. I hope sharing my experiences will be useful to you as you navigate this — even if it’s just to know that other couples can make it, and you can too!
If you haven’t already, discuss your location threshold, i.e. how far away can you tolerate living away from each other? Can you accept the possibility of living apart? A car ride or train ride away? How about a direct flight, or flights requiring layovers? There are no right answers, and this is different for every couple depending on your personal preferences, the competitiveness of the match, etc.
During interview season:
Don’t be afraid to advocate for your partner (and for yourself)! I mentioned that I was “couples matching” in all my interview acceptances and during all my interviews. I think this is vital for several reasons:
They’re the love of your life. Enough said!
It’s logistically challenging to couples match. As part of the process, you may have to cancel interviews you were looking forward to, because, for instance, your partner ends up getting rejected. It shows professionalism to let programs know your situation ahead of time, so that they won’t be blindsided if you have to cancel an interview unexpectedly. Programs I think would rather know this information upfront!
In some cases, programs may be willing to communicate with your partner’s program at their institution. This came in handy for my husband and me during in-person interviews when we could schedule trips together, but obviously, this would be helpful anytime!
Alternatively, by communicating with your partner’s intended program, they may be able to determine if your partner won’t be getting an interview, which although disappointing, is useful for you to know as you manage your other interviews.
How does this look in practice? For an interview invite email, accept and use the opportunity to bring up that you’re matching as a couple. I included the following information: Partner’s name and AAMC ID, partner’s intended specialty, and program coordinator contact information (at the same institution). As mentioned above, sometimes programs I applied to talked with those my husband applied to, which allowed us to coordinate our interview dates. Providing this information just makes it easier for them to get in touch if they so choose. Not all will do this, but I always viewed it as a “green flag” because it showed the program cared about me as a person!
Adjustments during interview season:
What if your partner doesn’t get an interview in the same program? This is where those earlier discussions help. Ask yourselves: Do they still have a chance of another interview within your location threshold? If so, but they haven’t gotten the interview yet, I would get in touch to explain the situation. But be flexible, recognizing a program can’t hold an interview spot for you forever. This tricky situation is a frustrating and unfortunate reality of the couples match. Give programs at least a week or two notice before canceling an interview.
Are there no interviews for your partner within your location threshold? If so, cancel ASAP to allow the spot to go to another deserving applicant.
It goes without saying, but above all, be kind, considerate, and understanding in all your communications with programs! Best of luck to you both in the match!
